


Poets are Always Taking The Weather So Personally

by Jeanshard



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Corporal Punishment, F/F, F/M, Highschool AU, M/M, Modern AU, Swearing, mentions of past paedophilia- no physical contact to main character, sorry my plots are all cliches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanshard/pseuds/Jeanshard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because there are never too many Highschool AUs</p><p>Arthur is a jock, Merlin has lost his mind (as all poets do), there are oodles of sexual tension no matter what Merlin and Arthur think</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scale it back on the fish puns

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so it's basically our Modern Au with a wee alteration, corporal punishment is basically norm and it's not much of an outrage.
> 
> Basically I just wanted to be able to incorporate more canon elements, I am not saying corporal punishment is ok or diminishing it's badness.

Merlin really hoped he was managing to pull off a look of rage without the layers of smugness he really felt worming through.

“What’s wrong with you Merlin?” From the concerned look on his friend Freya’s face, it was working. “You’re not still mad about Arthur, are you?”

Even imagining what Arthur would look like right now had Merlin holding back a snap of laughter.

“Oh Merlin, don’t cry!” Merlin must have been a much better actor than he was given credit for, maybe he should have taken drama. Because if he was managing to look anything other than delighted to hysterics, he deserved an Oscar more than Leonardo Dicaprio. 

“Merlin, you can talk to me…” He really couldn’t, he’d be on the floor with tears streaming down his eyes in a few minutes. But, he could wait. Arthur would only be a few seconds away now. “What Arthur did was horrid, but…”

What Merlin had done was worse.

Freya stopped, face going pale, eyes blown wide and mouth lolling open as Arthur Pendragon, the prince of the high school halls, stormed into class- covered in small flecks of something pink and smelling like a fish market.

“Emrys!” Merlin was laughing too hard to do anything other than raise his hands, hiding his face as the rest of the class looked in a mixture of horror and awe as Arthur launched himself at Merlin’s desk, the anger coming from him almost as obvious as the smell of fish.

Almost, not quite.

Arthur wrapped his hands round the neck of Merlin’s tshirt, lifting the smaller boy out of his seat and holding him so Merlin was almost choking, as much from the smell of the blond and the stretch of the top.

“Hello Arthur, have PE gotten rid of their showers?” Arthur snarled, eyes vibrating with rage. He reminded Merlin of the Minotaur, but still he couldn’t stop laughing. Yes, covering someone in fish guts was an awful cliché, but who cared when it got Arthur this riled up? Not Merlin, not the kids Arthur bullied (which actually included Merlin, so whatever). “You seem a little-” cough “riled?”

“You know bloody well why I am riled!” Small flecks of spit were covering Arthur’s (and presumably Merlin’s) face at this point but still Merlin was giggling.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Enough Emrys!” Arthur shoved Merlin’s chest, releasing his tshirt and causing Merlin to land sprawled across Freya’s desk. “I am going to gut you for this.”

“Isn’t that what you’re covered in right now?” Arthur swiped, but Merlin managed to duck out of the way before dropping to the ground.

“Get back hear you little coward!”

“Forgive me if I’m not all that keen to be standing right next to you right now, Arthur.”

“I don’t bloody care if you’re not that keen!” Merlin began to wriggle through the desks, as people shot out of the way to avoid Arthur. Usually, Arthur kept a lid on things a little longer, but they were both angrier than usual.

Even if Merlin got something much worse as payback, Arthur really deserved this. Truly.

“I’m not a fighter, Arthur. Don’t be so shell fish and bring me down to your level.”

There was very little class room and a lot of Arthur to run into, his friends would be here to back him up and Merlin would have no chance. For now though, it was fun to make the bad jokes and watch Arthur’s blood boil. Surely Merlin could cram in a lobster joke too, before his untimely death.

“I will finish you!” now there were about eight other people in class, all of them anxious for Merlin. None of them helping, mind, but witnesses would probably help in the court case of his murder. “Get back here you weasel!”

“Better a weasel than a fish.” Arthur latched his hand onto the back of Merlin’s collar, yanking him back and slamming him against the wall. Which was quite uncalled for because Merlin was really a gentle soul, ask his mum.

“You can’t run now, Emrys.” Arthur stood near Merlin, enough to stop him running away but not touching him. Thank God, because Merlin would freak the hell out and end up breaking his own arm or something.

As the class filled, people started to panic a little, some trying to speak to Arthur but none stupid enough to actually go near him.

“What should I do to you?”

“Don’t be so koi, Arthur.”

“Shut the fuck up with the puns!” Arthur’s hands tightened, balling into fists and Merlin truly questioned his own sanity. It was still fun, and he knew the teacher would be here in a few minutes. 

Right on cue, he heard a call from the back.

“Arthur Pendragon, what are you doing to Merlin?” Miss Ueh’s scream was enough to even startle the smile from Merlin’s face

***

Miss Ueh had actually seemed quite regretful to send Merlin to the head masters office, but she really didn’t have much of a choice in matters like these.

As the Head Master glared at Merlin, he still felt a little resentful, though.

“Mr… Emrys.” The Head rolled the name of his tongue slowly, like you would talk to a murder, distastefully. His eyes shot up and down Merlin, his gaze coming away entirely unimpressed. “What have you done to Mister Pendragon to make him, smell this way?” It was funny, actually, how both the Pendragon’s flinched at this word.

“I’m not really sure I can be blamed for teenage hormone issues, sir. If Arthur is having body odour problems then-” The Head Master slammed his hand on the desk, causing both the teenagers to jump a little.

“Don’t give me your smart mouth, Mr Emrys, or I will have to result to other measures.” It was ridiculous their school still allowed corporal punishment. “Now, tell my why my son smells like a rotting fish.” Arthur flushed crimson, his gaze drooping to the floor a little.

“I can’t say I know, Sir.” Which wasn’t all that much a lie, if Merlin didn’t want to be kicked out of school he could not say why Arthur was in his current state.

“Mister Emrys, you will tell me what you know or be severely punished until you do.” Arthur flinched a little, most likely sympathy pains.

“All I know is, Sir, Arthur came to class smelling like… he does… and I have been blamed for it for some reason, Sir.” Minus a few details, that was all Merlin knew on the matter.

“Mister Emrys, as you are well aware, I am allowed to use corporal punishment if I so wish, and right now you are making me very eager to use it.” Merlin considered if this counted as sexual harassment. Probably not.

It wasn’t fair, in all honesty. No matter what Arthur did, he was never punished this severely. Merlin was basically the only student is school who suffered the brunt of the Head Master, but then again he was the only student in the school stupid enough to irritate the Head Master’s son. Still, it hardly seemed worth a caning. 

Merlin should probably look into hiring a lawyer.

“We all know you’re the only one who would want to do something like this to Arthur.” That wasn’t true, lots of people wanted to do things like this to Arthur. They just didn’t have the brilliance, the balls or both. “You must admit it’s suspicious.”

Merlin honestly, truly couldn’t help himself.

“It is fishy Sir.” Arthur shot him an incredulous look, and the Head gave a small smirk that looked like a cat who found a wounded mouse.

“Mr Emrys.” The Head reminded him a little of Professor Snape (who was still a total arse even though he pined over Lily like a little love sick puppy for years) but with more power. “You know you did it. I know you did it. The whole student body knows you did it. Admit it, and I’ll let you go with superficial marks and detention.”

As appealing as that sounded, Merlin kept his mouth shut.

“Father, I-” The Head’s face snapped up, looking at Arthur properly for the first time since he got it. 

“You will go to one of the PE rooms and shower. You will then get clean clothes and go to class.”

“Wait, father I need to say that it-”

“Arthur. I will speak to you later.” With a nod, the Head dismissed his son, leaving Arthur to shuffle out looking like a wounded dog.

“Well, Mr Emrys. I guess it’s the usual for you.”


	2. God Bless Private Browsing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Arthur Extracts Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanting to remind everyone- capital punishment is accepted in this universe.

It had taken Arthur almost a full hour to get all of the fish chunks out of his hair. After his shower, it had taken Arthur almost half an hour to get a new school shirt, tie and trousers that were close enough to a fit that you couldn’t map out each bulge of his body, and he still smelt like the inside of shark.

Where had Merlin even gotten all that bloody fish?

Jesus, as much as Arthur hated to admit it, Merlin was clever.

Not only did he know how to reassemble the shower so fish guts, not water, would fall from the spout, not only did he know which shower Arthur used (which was creepy but still clever) but he also knew how to make sure Arthur wouldn’t be able to turn off the shower by breaking the tap and damaging the lock in the door.

It was a lot of effort and a severe trick, even by their standards, but in all fairness Arthur saw where it came from. He would just have to get Merlin back harder, somehow.

He tried again to flatten his hair, but even that wouldn’t sort itself.

He looked at his hands, unmarred by any marks. He remembered Merlin’s, which were either etched with white slits, or red welts, and shuddered.

His next class was English, and he knew Merlin would be there. Bloody prick, Arthur almost felt bad for him there, before remembering he deserved the punishments. And Arthur had gone to help him earlier, even after Merlin made yet another ridiculous joke.

The guy must be a masochist or something.

“Hey, Arthur. Glad to see you’re back to normal.” Percival thumped his back and gave him a small frown. “You still smell a bit like tuna, mate.”

“Shut up Percy.”

“I can’t believe how good that Emrys kid was, you should have heard your screaming!” Arthur slowly raised his hand and slapped Percy round the back of the head with it.

“That did not happen. None of this happened!”

“No one if going to forget this easily, mate.”

Arthur stopped, then grabbed hold of Percy’s arm and halted them both for walking.

“They will if they have something else to talk about.”

***  
“Hello Emrys.” The smaller boy flinched a little at Arthur’s voice, and then gave him a very suspicious look before wiping his hands along his jumper.

“Hello Arthur.” Merlin gave him a suspicious glare, before looking up to meet his eyes properly. “Any reason you’re hanging around my locker?”

“None at all, Emrys.”

“Because gluing it shut again would just prove how uncreative you really are and end up much worse for you in the long run.”

“I doubt that Emrys. Anyway, I would never resort to such a cliché.” The words ‘unlike you’ were implied with Arthur’s sneer. He had learnt it from his father.

Merlin looked Arthur up and down, before shrugging his shoulders and looking at the door.

“You’ve soldered it shut.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to know what something as manly as soldering was, Emrys. I’m impressed.” The look Merlin gave Arthur showed he felt the exact opposite.

“You’re a dick.”

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Emrys.”

“Is this the best you could come up with?” Merlin gave him a sad smile before shaking his head, presumably going off to look for a janitor.

If only Merlin knew how much better it would get. But time would tell. And Arthur would wait.

***

It took Merlin ten minutes to find a janitor, fifteen to convince him to liberate the door from his locker and five to send Arthur at least twenty evil glares.

The timing was great, actually, because it meant the halls were almost filled with people and everyone would see as-

“What the fuck?” The janitor yelled, as an entire locker’s full (Arthur should know, he stuffed it himself) of pictures of very worrying porn and a collection male boxers fell out of the small box.

***

The next day, Merlin came in with bandages round his hands and a furious expression. People had forgotten all about Arthur and his fishy shower (thank God) and were now on the topic of Merlin, who clearly had some serious kinks and fetishes.

As Arthur sat down in their shared English class, he doubted he’d felt more smug in his life.

“Psst. Emrys.” Merlin did not even flinch. It was possible he was ignoring Arthur, but English was one of those subjects Merlin went all gormless and into another world in, losing himself in whatever stupid story he was writing or whatever stupid story they had to read. It was infuriating. “Emrys!”

Merlin slowly got up and turned around.

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Have they not carted you off to the asylum yet then?” Merlin glowered at him. “I think the stuff you had in there is broaching on illegal.”

“I don’t know what must dodgier Arthur, your search history or your mind.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one who was building a stash.” God bless private browsing.

Merlin just gave him a small smile and Arthur’s stomach dropped.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Why are you smiling?”

“Feeling of intense joy.” The Merlin turned round again, pen tapping on his desk as he faced the front of the class.

The bell rang and Arthur took off to his next class, but he made sure Merlin walked out of the door and out of his view until he allowed himself to relax a little.

***

“Hey Arthur!” Gwen, one of Arthur’s one again, off again, girlfriend’s walked over to him. “Can you take us out for lunch?”

“Sure, I was planning on going anyway.” That was Arthur’s favourite thing about being a senior; he and his friends were allowed to leave school for lunch. It was amazing, especially as his father had recently gifted him with a black jaguar and a new credit card.

“We should skip fifth, too.”

That was Arthur’s only other class with Merlin in it, biology. Merlin was a little nerd and had been moved up a year for some of his subjects. Arthur found it quite funny that although Merlin’s work was as hard as theirs, and the few friends he had were seniors, he still did not get to have all the privileges Arthur did.

Rightly so.

“I can’t, really.” Because if he did, Arthur would miss the chance to poke more fun at Merlin.

“Oh, Arthur please.” Why did girls always think pouting out their lips and making their eyes water was cute? It just made Arthur feel irritant. Why couldn’t they just argue back, or say why they wanted whatever they did.

“Yes, Arthur please.” Vivian came up from behind him, latching her arm through Gwen’s and making an identical pout. Actually, the two of them doing it somehow made the argument a little more compelling.

“I’m sure we can make it worth your while.” The two gills started giggling, whispering at each other and occasionally looking at Arthur under their eyelids. It was equal parts terrifying and awesome.

“Uh… sure.”

As the girls each took hold of one of Arthur’s arms and began to walk him to his car, he became quite distracted by the looks they kept giving him. So distracted, in fact, he didn’t notice the small figure strolling away from the side of his car.


	3. Jelli Bath and Super Glue

“Bloody hell!” Arthur slammed his hand against the window, furious at the door. He tried to pull his key out from the lock again, but it was stuck tight. What the hell?

“Come on Arthur, I want to go somewhere!” The girls were sitting there, whining, but neither of them actually made an offer to help.

“Well I don’t know why the key is stuck in the frigging lock!”

“I thought he said his car was new?” Did Vivian always sound that whiny when she wasn’t suggesting (or doing) dirty things to Arthur?

“It is new.” New cars should not eat their owner’s keys.

“We’ve been sat here for ages!” The girls had been sat there for five minutes. Were they really always this whiny fully clothed?

Arthur saw Mr Garrah walking from the other side of the car park. A tech teacher, surely he’d know what to do. Arthur waved him over, and watched with a level of amusement as the old man hobbled over, pulling along a small figure with him.

Arthur swore he heard a slight burst of laughter over the other end tarmac.

“Yes, Mr Pendragon?”

“Why is Merlin with you?” Arthur snapped. Merlin just gave him a small smirk.

“Mr Pendragon, we are not here to talk about Merlin, I’m assuming?” Mr Garrah raised an eye brow. Arthur didn’t think he’d ever seen scalier skin outside of a movie. “So what is the problem?”

“My car ate my keys.”

“Are you smoking a tree?” Merlin said with a laugh, but Mr Garrah shot him a glare. Not that it did anything to change the expression of Merlin’s face, but he did quieten down a little, which was a miracle in itself.

“You shouldn’t speak to him like that. Know your betters.” Vivian muttered, turning to Arthur for approval. Gwen seemed a little surprised, yet didn’t say anything, but Merlin and Mr Garrah just gave her a look of sympathy.

“I meant my keys are stuck in the lock!”

And then, just because he’s happened to catch sight of Merlin’s smiling face- he realized.

“Emrys, what the hell have you done to my car?” Merlin flinched as little flecks of Arthur’s spit hit his face.

“What?” He sounded a little irritated, but Arthur had seen that sparkling in his eyes a million times.

“What. Did you. Do. To. My. Car?” The girls began to eye Merlin up and down, but he didn't seem upset. In fact, he seemed mildly pleased.

“How could I do something to your car? Surely it has heaps of locks on it, sirens, alarms, whatever. Anyway, my hands are in bandages.”

Arthur looked down and noticed that Merlin’s bandages were tacked together a little.

“Anyway, as you mentioned earlier, I am nowhere near manly enough to know how to do something like this.”

Arthur could have sworn he saw Mr Garrah grinning.

“You know, Arthur, you could try and get through your sun roof?” Mr Garrah said to Arthur, with a quick nod. “Any time today, I have places to be.”

“Oh. Right.” Arthur ignored the snorting of Merlin and stood up on a step by his car to try and wrench back the roof. Then, after a few pulls and grunts (and having heard Merlin grinning off into the distance) Arthur managed to drag the roof back. “Yes!” Arthur shouted, dropping through the gaping hole in his ceiling and throwing himself onto a seat.

To see the floor of his car absolutely covered in sludge.

Which of course meant Arthur’s shoes were also covered in said sludge.

“Emrys!” Arthur slammed his palms against the steering wheel, planning to haul himself out and drown Merlin once and for all in the layer of – God what was it?- at the bottom of the car before he saw it.

The clearing trail of glue slathered over his steering wheel, tethering him to the car, so all he could do was watch as Merlin split his sides laughing before strolling away.

 

***  
It was two in the morning, and Merlin was still watching the video.

Merlin had to personally find and thank whoever had taken the time to film the fire department coming to remove Arthur’s steering wheel from his car, pull Arthur (still attached to the wheel) out of the car and basically the whole school’s reaction to Arthur being covered in sludge.

(Which was just old jelli bath stuff Merlin had found lying around at work, because he wasn’t evil. And Mr Garrah had refused to let him use frog spawn as it was unfair to the frogs). And anyway, he had lined the bottom of the car with plastic sheets, so he wouldn’t be ruining the whole thing (the angel on his shoulder had insisted. Violently).

There were two things Merlin loved about this particular prank. One of them was the fact he had a perfect alibi, he and Mr Garrah (Merlin’s granddad) had gone to Merlin’s doctor’s appointment, so were not in the school and could not have done the prank. The other was the fact everyone knew he had done it anyway.

Merlin watched the video one last time, before jotting down the user name of the uploader- whose description was ‘the Pratdragon got what he deserved, there! (Merlin didn’t think it was Will but that comment made him wonder). Tomorrow he would somehow thank them, but Merlin needed to go to sleep and make sure he was early for school tomorrow.

He would need to be on high alert all day.


	4. Green may well be a creative colour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on the theme of a petty rivalry

“Emrys. This was you.” Once again, Arthur and Merlin were sat in the headmaster’s office.

“Sir, as Mr Garrah explained, I wasn’t even in school when this happened.” The head master looked like he was about to start howling in anger.

“Mr Garrah is incredibly biased on your account, Emrys.”

“Wouldn’t that mean you were biased on Arthur’s?” There was definitely something fundamentally wrong with Merlin.

But, before the Head master had a chance to do anything than turn bright red, a secretary bumbled in, announcing an emergency that caused the head to get up and leave.

Left alone in the room, the boys began to gather their bags and stand up.

“I’m going to get you for this, Emrys.” Arthur sounded calculating, menacing, like a gangster ordering a hit.

“I told you, Arthur, I am as innocent as the dove.” Merlin said with a grin to himself.

“Shut up. I know it was you. Was it necessary to ruin my car?”

“There were plastic sheets, the car will be fine.”

Arthur stopped, turning away from the door and yelled.

“Aha! You’ve just admitted it!” Arthur looked surprisingly gleeful.

“Everyone knows there was plastic, someone had the decency to record it all for me.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed and he took a few steps towards Merlin, crowding him backwards.

“You didn’t make the video?” Merlin had to shake his head. He wished he had, but sadly he was not the visionary there.

“I cannot take credit for such art. Anyway, my phone doesn’t even have a bloody camera on it.” Arthur actually snorted, stepping away from Merlin but no closer to the door.

“It’s the 21st century, how on earth do you not have a decent phone?”

With a small shrug, Merlin said:

“Can’t afford one, really.”

Arthur looked Merlin up and down, seemingly surprised by something.

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll make fun of you for that?”

“Not really, not like I can help it or anything.” Merlin stepped around Arthur and edged his way to the door. “I’m assuming you guessed I was poor, when you saw I was here on a scholarship.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” Arthur usually tried not to think about it, honestly. “I’m still going to get you, Emrys.”

With a small smile, Merlin opened the door and called to Arthur.

“I’ll see bass when it happens.”

When Merlin came to class with a (permanent) green streak in his hair, there were no fish puns in the world that could stop Arthur laughing.

***

Arthur was the head prefect of his year. The position was meant to mean a lot of added responsibilities, but Arthur just used it to skip ahead in queues and demand respect. It would probably help with his uni applications, too.

And no one ever asked him to do anything, all far too wary or in awe of him to ever need anything that badly.

Except Merlin, who usually asked Arthur for help very loudly whenever a teacher was near, so he couldn’t refuse.

“Emrys, how can someone, even someone as clumsy as you, end up throwing their house keys in a bin?” Arthur refused to put his hand in the school trash can. No. Merlin had probably lost his keys on purpose after Arthur had pulled his chair away from him in English.

“It’s a gift. Hurry up and find it for me so we can both move on with our lives.”

“I am not putting a hand in the bin for you to get your house keys. Not. Happening.”

“Mr Pendragon.” Miss Ueh hated Arthur and loved Merlin, it always meant trouble when she was the lunch monitor. “I believe it is your duty to help this student. Get to work.” She smiled at Merlin and walked off, stupid heels clicking on the lino as she hummed a weird song.

“You are positive the keys are in here.”

“Yes Arthur.”

“And not at the start of lunch or anything, just a few minutes ago.”

“Yes Arthur.”

“Right. Fine.” So Arthur, under the watchful eye of a smirking Merlin, plunged his arm to the top layers of trash in the bin and began sifting through sheets of paper and food wrapping. “I can’t feel it.”

“Well try a little bloody harder then.”

“Watch your mouth, Emrys.” Arthur looked up, mildly irritated to see Merlin wasn’t even looking back at him, instead his eyes were somewhere else, looking for someone else entirely. “Emrys.”

Arthur was not going to continue to dig through layers of food wrappings (it was getting a lot worse the more things he shifted aside) if he wasn’t at least able to wind Merlin up while he did it.

“Sir yes sir.” Merlin sounded like someone waking from a day dream. “Dig a bit deeper, would you? I need to get to my locker before English.”

Arthur stopped for a moment, earlier irk at Merlin’s mental absence (like that was something new) gone. 

“I heard you were entering that poem thingy.” Arthur murmured, hands trawling through the questionable mess of the bin. He pulled his hand out and began swiping away the mess for minute, eyes on the floor.

Merlin gave Arthur a look that was full of suspicion, but nodded his head and gave a quick grunt of ‘yes.’

“What are you sending in?”

Merlin shot Arthur a look that could curdle milk.

“A poem, Arthur.” If anyone else had said that, Arthur would have been offended.

“I assumed, Emrys. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Arthur looked up at Merlin, raising his eyebrows and looking at the bin with a bit of a smirk. “Only joking, please put your hand back in the bin?” Merlin shot Arthur a huge grin, but it was definitely his use of the word ‘please’ that made Arthur start trawling again.

So obviously, Arthur was so distracted by Merlin’s sudden use of decent manners, he lodged his arm right into the bin and the layer of paint that awaited him.

“Bloody hell!” The bell rang as Arthur dragged his (newly) lime green arm out from the bin. “How did…”

And as he looked up, he saw a Cheshire cat Merlin twirling his keys between his fingers and flashing Arthur a quick wink, before heading off to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more elaboration on points and other life coming soon


	5. I'm Winning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Merlin is not oblivious and Arthur is not ratty

Arthur was quite irritated.

After his last spat with Merlin (which had resulted in Merlin’s entire collection of pen’s writing in mayonnaise and being forced to re-sit his exam) there had been nothing. No retaliation, no snarky conversations, nothing. It was like Merlin thought the whole bloody thing was below him because he was taking part in that stupid poem thing, every spare moment he had was spent holed up in the English rooms alone.

Which Arthur knew because he had been watching Merlin.

Not in a creepy way (well, a little) but because Arthur had to be prepared! When he’d managed to live his life with normal ease for over a week, he’d assumed Merlin had something entirely diabolical going on, and it had kept him up at night. But, the more he watched, the more time that went past without Merlin doing a single thing, the more Arthur knew that Merlin wasn’t bothered.

So Arthur tried harder, he tripped Merlin in the halls, he left dye on the seat of Merlin’s chair, put bleach in Merlin’s biology experiments so he’d need to repeat them at lunch, and Merlin barely even noticed him!

“Arthur!”

“Jesus Leon, what?” Why were Arthur’s friends never leaving him alone to think?

“No need to snap, mate.” And then they’d get all wounded and insulted. Merlin never did that, he’d just say something snarkier back and the whole thing would be forgotten. But, Merlin wasn’t a friend. “I was just asking if you’re playing Friday.”

“But you know I’m playing Friday.” The table gave Arthur a surprised look, all twelve of them hurt by his mood.

“Just, trying to get a conversation. Sorry.” 

“Oh, right.” That was one of the worst excuses he’d ever heard. “So, whose party is it Saturday?”

That, on the other hand, was the perfect conversation starter, because the entire table began to clamour about drinking, sex and drugs, leaving Arthur to fall back into his rut.

The thing was, Arthur would really be fine with it. In all honesty, he was getting more work done, his father was a lot happier he and Merlin weren’t in his office and it was a sign they were both growing up. It wouldn't do for Arthur to be acting so childish with university applications coming up.

But Arthur noticed Merlin had time to make friends with the new kid. More than friends, basically, from the way the idiot flicked his hair and laughed at all of Merlin’s weird versions of jokes. Merlin, the weird idiot who took years to grow on you, had enough time and effort to make some new kid (who all of the girls and a fair portion of guys were slobbering after) fall in love with him. And he hadn’t even bothered notice Arthur’s existence.

The bell went, so Arthur and his friends began travelling to English.

When Arthur was on his way through the library, and he saw the new kid whispering in Merlin’s ear, and the two of them with tentative smile, he was so irritated he wanted to smash something.

***

 

Merlin turned around from his desk, turning to face a frowning Arthur.

“What’s your problem?” Merlin drawled. Arthur’s eyes narrowed even more at that, and his jaw seemed to tighten.

“Piss of, Emrys.”

Merlin felt himself frown. He had done anything worthy of that reaction, he’d been too busy with the poetry competition to bother do anything to Arthur in at least a few weeks.

“Alright then.” Merlin looked past Arthur, hoping to spot Gilli. Unfortunately, his friend’s attention was entirely focused on staring at Vivian (who Will only insisted he liked for her ‘personality’ and became very insulted when Merlin asked when they’re renamed the ‘tits’). 

Merlin looked Arthur up and down quickly, deciding the answer to his question took place over whatever he’d done to make Arthur mad at him this time.

“Arthur, would you rather-”

“Oh god, not this!” Arthur spat the words out.

“What? You don’t even know what I’m going to say!” Merlin whined. What on earth was Arthur’s problem today? Maybe (insert random girl’s name here) had broken up with him.

“You used to always play this bloody game." Arthur snarled, rubbing his hands along his brow.

“I’m surprised you remember, but look this is actually important-”

“Oh, it’s *important* is it?” Arthur snipped, and continued in a mocking tone “‘Would you rather hands for feet or feet for hands.’ ‘Would you rather a mouse tail or ears.’ ‘Would you rather be stuck in a chess or a checker board.’ You know what I would bloody rather, Emrys, is for you to shut up. Shut up with your stupid questions, of trying to be funny and quirky and leave me alone. You’ve been getting good at it.”

Arthur stopped, slightly out of breath and a little surprised at himself as Merlin wondered where that had come from.

“Oh how you wound me, Arthur.” Merlin turned away, rolling his eyes a little at Arthur and flipping open his book. He really needed some bloody advice on the last line of his poem, and his friends had been useless. Clearly now was not the time to pester Arthur.

Behind him, Merlin heard someone snarl ‘psst.’ He flicked through the exercise pages, wondering where the teacher had gotten too because maybe she could be of help if no one else-

“Merlin. Psst.” Merlin stopped, noticing the voice was Arthur’s. Maybe he should tell the nurse Arthur was possibly suffering from bipolar disorder? If Arthur was suffering from something, when he eventually murdered Merlin he might get off with it, and then Merlin’s ghost would have to haunt him forever.

Merlin decided to stay where he was, until something hit the back of his head and he was forced to turn around and see what it was.

“Did you not hear me or something, Emrys?”

“Well Arthur, I decided to grant your wish and continue to ignore you, especially as you deigned the fact ‘I’m getting so good at it.’”

“Shut up.” To Merlin’s (utter) delight, Arthur had begun to go red. If Merlin was a nastier person (and this didn’t always happen to him) he would mention it, but as it seemed Arthur was well aware of his blush (the mighty Pendragon was blushing!) Merlin decided to let it slide. Saint Peter should not that one down.

“Make up your mind, would you Arthur? It’s hard to decide which order to ignore.” Merlin said with a smile.

Arthur laughed a little, and the crimson colour drained from his face. Which was disappointing, it was rare Merlin was the one to keep his cool and he would have liked to enjoy it a little longer.

And then of course Arthur was back to his normal, unrumpled self and Merlin felt like he’d lost a point he’d never scored.

There was an odd stillness between the two boys that made Merlin feel a bit odd.

He began to turn back to his book, thinking that he just maybe had an idea for the last line…

“Emrys!” And at Arthur’s bark, the tendrils of an idea bled from Merlin’s brain. He genuinely would have preferred real blood, it was really hard to get a decent idea right now. “I’m winning, just so you know.” Then Arthur turned around and began to talk to (insert random lackey’s name here).

And Merlin realized why he had been so damn stumped on ideas for the last few weeks.


	6. I may die an old maid yet

It irritated Merlin more than he cared to admit that he hadn’t been able to focus because he felt like he had to score against Arthur first. Not because it was childish or petty, but because it meant he’d have to do something epic when Arthur left for university or he could never write again.

And really, writing was the one thing that Merlin loved like nothing else, the one thing he could throw himself in to. He didn’t want to lose that.

He didn’t need to put too much effort in to scheming against Arthur, the ideas (and the actions) came along perfectly naturally. Gwaine had offered to help, but it felt a little sneaky to recruit assistance. There had to be nobility somewhere.

Sadly, nobility was not in Merlin’s mind when he took pictures of Arthur’s car and placed them on the school’s ‘to sell’ notice board. Merlin also glued the compartment of Arthur’s bag with his keys in closed. So far the nobility hadn’t tipped up, nor when he put pictures of the car on ebay, the school paper, fliers around the building. . Nor when he but a note along the bottom saying ‘leave a post it with your name on the car’s body.’

But Merlin didn’t tell people to just carve a name in to the paint work, so he at least deserved credit for that.

***

Arthur did not see it that way.

“What the fuck happened to my car!” Merlin heard him yelling from inside the school. Merlin did a swift 180, deciding it was probably a good idea to hide out in the library archive for a while. The library archive would be safe; Merlin doubted Arthur even realized there was a library archive.

Sadly, Arthur had clearly immediately realized what had happened and had run off in to the school, throwing his bag to the floor to be picked up by a random lackey.

“Emrys!” He screeched. Merlin jumped, trying to duck out of view. But because everyone in school saw Arthur as a God, they parted like the red sea and made a perfect path to Merlin. Merlin wondered if that made them or him Judas.

He took off, deciding to leave his wonderings to a time when he wasn’t being chased by a blond impersonation of a Minotaur.

Predictably, Arthur managed to catch up to Merlin by the time he’d almost made an escape. Which was expected, seeing as Arthur trained every day for a sports career and Merlin got light headed when he stood up too fast.

Once he had caught up, Arthur threw Merlin’s bag to the floor and shoved him against a wall.

“Arthur, fuck, ouch Arthur!” Merlin growled.

“Shut up Emrys!” Arthur snapped. He had his forearm along Merlin’s chest, his other hand against the wall so both of their weights were crushed together. Merlin wished Arthur could be at least a little out of shape, with a little roll of fat or something. All the ‘bulging’ muscles made Merlin feel painfully inadequate.

Which was stupid, obviously, because there was no reason for Merlin to feel like he had to be up to a certain standard for Arthur.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Arthur spat.

“It’s what we do?” Merlin replied. His ego refused to let him tell the truth.

“You didn’t do anything for weeks!” Arthur growled. His grip lessened, a little. Enough to allow Merlin to focus again.

“Quit pining. Anyway, you kept doing stuff.” Merlin retorted. Arthur looked irritatingly gormless. “Jesus, Arthur, if you’re going to beat me to death then do it. The suspense has been dulled after so long.”

“I wasn’t pining!” Arthur yelped, incredulous. He dropped Merlin down from the side of the wall and took a step back. Merlin, who had been expecting more support, slumped straight on to the floor.

“Alright Arthur, calm down.” Merlin soothed. He stood up, swiping off the clusters of dust from the floor off his clothes.

“Don’t tell me to calm down; the entire bloody school is trying to buy my car!” Arthur snarled.

Merlin was tempted to placate him by saying he wasn’t interested in buying the car, but seeing as it was his fault the school was vying for Arthur’s car the opinion probably didn’t matter.

“And I can’t even take the car away because the keys are stuck in the fucking bag!”

“Well yes, you got my kicked out of a maths exam.” Merlin reasoned. Arthur was lucky Merlin didn’t just flush the keys.

“My car is far more important than a bloody maths test!” Arthur yelled.

“Just because it didn’t affect you doesn’t make it unimportant. I’m shit at maths, I would have liked not to have fucked up the only exam I could do.” Merlin grumbled, loping across the hall to pick up his bag. 

“Oh cry me a river, Emrys.” Arthur spat. “One exam won’t fuck it up, my bloody car get ruined.”

“So could my scholarship.” Merlin retorted. He wasn’t sure why he was bothering relay the information to Arthur; it wasn’t like he’d care. Honestly, it didn’t really majorly bother Merlin, either.

“Oh.” Arthur rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Home? I’m assuming we’re done here, until you plan your next exploit. Or give up, you’re supposed to be a role model to the rest of the school. Really letting the side of honour down.” Merlin shook his head.

“Oh. Right.” Arthur’s teeth were worrying the edges of his lip. Merlin wondered if he should get him to stop it, before deciding Arthur would wonder why Merlin was staring at him. “Uh, did the maths exam end up alright?”

“Of course it bloody didn’t, you gave me a mayonnaise pen.”

“The re-sit, Emrys.” Arthur scowled. He took his hands away from his face and his teeth of his lips.

“Oh, uh no, think I failed it.” Merlin shrugged.

Merlin began to walk off, waving at Arthur behind his back. He was just glad to be leaving with all vital organs intact.

***

“Are you guys excited for the dance?” Freya squealed as she fell down to the table.

“You are sitting at a table of two loser virgin guys-”

“Cheers Will.”

“- No worries Merlin. Why on earth do you think we would be looking forward to the dance?” Will deadpanned. Freya’s face didn’t lose any glimmer. Which definitely couldn’t mean anything good.

“Because I got a date with Leon Grace!”

“You know, you hope and you dream, but you never expect it to become true.” Merlin said with a sage nod. Freya looked confused. His sarcastic genius was wasted on her.

“Again, Freya, why on earth would that make us look forward to the dance?” Will groaned. 

“Will, if Freya’s going with Leon then neither of us has to tag along!” Merlin whooped, and a second later Will joined him. They knew Freya was desperate to go to the dance, because she was a devastatingly lovely and normal girl. Will and Merlin were not, but one of them had agreed to take her. Unfortunately they had been drunk, and when sober argued about who had agreed.

“Wait, no, you guys need to get a date and come with me!” Argued Freya. As a response, Merlin just began to laugh and Will spluttered.

“Is this before or after I create my own working death star?” Merlin puffed between laughs.

“Piloted by Amy Pond.” Will agreed.

“You can’t leave me to go by myself!”

“You’ll have Leon.” Will argued, once he got over Freya’s demand. “Why would you want us there to watch you two gag each other on your tongues?”

“Will, you are a true poet.” Merlin smirked.

“You’d know, Shakespeare.”

“I’m not really sure why you say that like it’s an insult.”

“He wore tights Merlin!” Will stressed.

“Boys!” Freya whinged. “Leon is one of the popular group, you can’t just leave me to it! I wouldn’t know how to make them like me. Or what to say. One, preferably both, of you needs to come too. With a date, or you’ll look weird.”

“Have you seen Merlin in a suit? He’ll definitely look weird.” Merlin shut Will up with a sharp elbow in his side. “Fucking hell, Merlin, put some meat on your chicken limbs.”

“Even if we wanted to, Freya, can you imagine anything worse than Will and I in the, what did you call them? The popular group? God, we’re living in a high school cliché. Anyway, Arthur would drown me in the punch bowl and Will would make everyone *else* want to drown themselves in the punch bowl.”

“But, Arthur doesn’t mind you too much really. Well, he does, but he won’t care for one night.” Freya didn’t even sound convinced by her own words. “As for you, Will, would you consider wearing a muzzle? Only for a night.”

“Freya, if it were that easy to make Will shut up I think his mum would have invested a long time ago.” Smiled Merlin. “Don’t look so wounded, Will. It’s said with love.”

“You finally declaring love for Will, Merlin?” Merlin couldn’t help but smile a little at the sound of Gwaine’s voice. He looked up, and any hint of a smile crawled off his face at the sight of Arthur behind him.

“It was only a matter of time.” Will deadpanned, scowling at the sight of Arthur.

“What are you lads talking about, then?” Gwaine boomed, squeezing up on to the table set the group were sat at. Arthur hovered awkwardly.

“They boys were just about to tell me they were coming to the dance.” Stage whispered Freya. Will gave her a look that could char flesh.

“If ‘dance’ is code for stay at home and watch crap TV, then yes we were.” Merlin said through a mouthful of cake. Gwaine laughed.

“What kind of loser doesn’t go to the dance?” Arthur, on the other hand, was not laughing.

“This kind.” Merlin grinned, pointing to himself. Arthur shot him a look Merlin would reserve for puppy kickers. “Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll find someone else to take.”

“I wouldn’t go with you!” Arthur turned crimson. The second blush in as many weeks, Merlin was setting a record.

“That’s why it was a *joke* Arthur. Humour, comedy, general tomfoolery. Surely you’re aware people often speak for comedic purposes.” Merlin listed. Arthur scowled. 

“Well. You just don’t want to go because no one wants you to go!” Arthur shot back. He looked far too pleased with himself.

“Freya wants me to go.” Will snorted at Merlin’s answer, but Freya just nodded eagerly.

“No one wants to take you as a date, though, do they?” The blond hissed. Gwaine looked a little taken aback by the comment.

Merlin wondered if he should tell Gwaine that Merlin didn’t really take what Arthur said to heart, but decided that it would ruin the fun of the moment.

“Alas, no, I may die an old maid yet.” Merlin said with a sad shake of the head. “But I’ll be an old maid sat at home in pyjamas while you have to rent a suit.”

“You’ll be home lonely while the rest of us are having a great time. You know, you’ll only get this moment once-”

“Arthur,” Will began “If you want Merlin to go with you so badly, just ask him.”

“I’m going with Gwen!” Arthur yelped, before shaking his head and charging off. He grunted at Gwaine to follow, but he was too busy laughing to hear. Will and Merlin started laughing too and soon unable to breathe properly at remembering the disgusted look on Arthur’s face.

“Ah, haha, you- you know, I’d like to think I’m not *that* bad a catch.” Merlin’s words were broken with sobs of laughter. 

“His face though!” Gwaine chuckled like a Norse God. “God, he’s not that bad a guy, but he has got a grudge against you, mate.” He slapped Merlin’s back.

“You’ll make up at the dance.” Freya giggled. It still sounded like an order.

“Pigs will fly.”

“Shut up, Will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want people to know, I'm kinda working on demand basis right now. So if I can't pic a fic to work on, I go for the one with the most kudos/ comments (especially comments) so no pressure
> 
>  
> 
> Well, kinda


	7. He could get way better than you

Arthur was surprised to see Merlin at Elena’s party.

“What’s *he* doing here?” Arthur snapped, jabbing his thumb in Merlin’s direction. Elyan just gave an easy shrug.

Arthur watched, curiously irritated as Merlin threw his head back and laughed. He was in a group of about six people, and none of them looked irritated or angry at his presence. And they were normal people! Friends of Arthur’s! Sitting there and laughing with Merlin! Not even at the weird kid, with him!

“Hey Arthur.” Leon said, with an anxious look on his face. Arthur hadn’t even realized he’d been storming over until he’d arrived at the other group.

“What are you guys talking about?” Arthur snapped. He hoped it sounded more like a request than an order. From the amused look on Merlin’s face and the hurt on everyone else’s- he had not succeeded.

“Nothing important.” Leon said with a little cough. Everyone but Merlin looked a little slighted. “Enjoying the party, Arthur?”

“I’m far too sober.” Arthur said, sitting down and staring warily at Merlin. 

“I’m sure I can help with that!” One of the younger girls- Sefa?- yelped, scurrying off to find Arthur a drink. He smirked and leaned back. God he loved being worshipped.

He did not love hearing Merlin scoff ‘arse’ under his breath, but decided to ignore it.

“So, Emrys, what brings you here tonight?” The blond sneered.

“The invite from Elena?” Merlin said slowly, like Arthur was an idiot and needed to the slow pace to understand.

“You usually get invited to parties and you don’t go.” Arthur reasoned. Everyone else in the group fell in to a chat about something else, leaving Arthur and Merlin to it.

“Spend a lot of time pondering my social calendar, Arthur?” Merlin replied, smug little expression on his face.

He looked different out of school, Arthur thought. Usually, Merlin was the kid in the too big trousers, crumpled shirt, crooked tie with ink stained hands. He always looked a little lost in thought, gormless if you asked Arthur. But now he was in a slim pair of jeans, and his legs weren’t actually gangly but lean, and he had on a T-shirt from star wars that Arthur could never admit he recognised, and he didn’t seem frail but slender. It suited him, he almost looked passable, for Merlin.

“I lay awake at night and recite it.” Arthur’s tone dripped with sarcasm. He was a little too pleased it managed to make Merlin snort.

“Here you are!” Sefa giggled. She appeared out of nowhere, dropped a cup in to Arthur’s hands before scuttling off again.

“I’d be careful if I were you.” Merlin said, eying the rim of the cup suspiciously. “It’s very possible she’s spiked that with Nyquil, seems far too eager for you to drink it.” Arthur followed Merlin’s stare to where Sefa was sat, watching Arthur over someone’s shoulder.

“Not everyone is as desperate to get me as you Merlin.” Arthur almost choked on the words. That hadn’t come out right, that sounded like he wanted Merlin to get him in other ways, that was almost flirting, oh god oh shit what had-

“No, but seeing as a very large part of my life involves the art of avoiding you, I’d say most people are more eager to ‘get’ your pompousness.” Merlin agreed. Someone called him, from a different corner of the room and he took off, not saying a single good bye to Arthur. Arthur calmed a bit, after that.

“Hey Arthur.” Gwen simpered, falling in to his lap. He did his best not to groan. She wasn’t heavy, but really was there a need for her to perch on him like he was a pillow? “I’m excited for the dance, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Gwen. Just like when you asked me earlier.” Arthur replied. He tried to keep his tone light, but Gwen was asking so often the routine became trite.

“Yay!” She squealed. Gwen wasn’t a bimbo, why was she acting like that around him? Gwen used to be really cool, actually, when she hung around with Merlin. That was a time she tried to deny, vehemently. But Arthur remembered it. “It’ll be so much fun! What colour dress should I wear?”

Arthur didn’t know. It was a little harsh to say he didn’t care, but it was also true. He didn’t care if her dress was magenta or aqua, whatever they were. He wasn’t sure why it mattered, really. He just wanted to go and have the one last night with his friends.

But somehow, he’d agreed for a tux with yellow accessories so he’d match Gwen within a few minutes. Even though it would look stupid and it would make Merlin laugh if he were going.

***

Merlin pushed himself closer to Gwaine, until the line of their bodies became blurred. Gwaine moaned in agreement. He tightened his grip on Merlin and slid a hand lower down his back.

“Fuck yeah.” Gwaine groaned. Merlin smirked in agreement.

Gwaine was a sloppy kisser, tongue lazy and mouth open. But Merlin was in the mood for sloppy and quick, so that was pretty perfect. Merlin allowed himself to be pushed back, until Gwaine was grinding in to him against the wall.

The music was a steady hum of bass in the room they’d wandered in to, great for keeping a pace for the two of them to press against each other.

“Fuck, you’re so hot Merlin.” Gwaine grumbled. Merlin flushed a little.

“Speak for yourself.” He replied, nipping at Gwaine’s lips with his teeth a little.

Gwaine pulled him away from the wall, pushing him down on to the bed and clambered on top. Merlin decided he would need to get Elena a nice fruit basket for the invite to this party. And a pony.

Then Gwaine starting pulling his top off and Merlin forgot about all the other things in the world.

Soon, Merlin and Gwaine were pressed against each other, skin on skin and just in boxers. They were just rutting, which Merlin was thankful for because he was too sober to even try and be sexy. The two of them thrusting against each other was easy enough to handle.

Thankfully, he was sober enough to make sure he came after Gwaine.

***

Merlin followed Gwaine out of the room. The two of them smiled at each other, before Merlin gave Gwaine a quick salute and smile and Gwaine grinned back and sunk back in to the crowd of people.

Merlin was planning on telling Freya he was going to head home, when he accidentally bumped in to Arthur.

“Shit… sorry! Oh wait, it’s just you.” He grinned at Arthur. He’d made it sound too friendly, sadly the night with Gwaine had made it hard for him to dredge up and annoyance at Arthur. 

“What the fuck have you been doing?” Arthur shouted, glaring at Merlin’s mussy clothes and hair. “Or should I say who?” He basically spat.

“What the hell is your problem?” Merlin called over the music. “You’re hardly captain of the chastity club!” Arthur looked furious, and then he grabbed hold of Merlin’s arm and dragged him along in to another one of Elena’s spare rooms. If Merlin didn’t fear for his life he’s be in a sad state of awe at the number of rooms Elena’s mansion had.

Arthur eventually shoved Merlin in and closed the door behind him.

“What the fuck is your problem, Arthur?”

Arthur was shaking a bit, clearly drunk. He looked good, like normal, but there was something odd in his eye that Merlin didn’t understand.

“You!” Arthur replied. “You’re always, messing me around!”

“You mess me around to, we talked about this already. And I didn’t even do anything tonight!” Merlin snapped back. He was in a great mood, after Gwaine. And Arthur had to ruin it all like he ruins everything.

“Not, fucking hell what were you doing, Emrys? You look a mess!” Arthur shot back. His hands were curled in to fists. Deep down, Merlin knew Arthur wouldn’t hit him. But deep down was layered in thoughts of panic and drunkenness.

“Arthur, it’s none of your business!” It wasn’t that Merlin was embarrassed, just; he didn’t want to discuss his sex life with Arthur.

“It fucking is! Who was it?” Merlin didn’t respond, but when he looked away Arthur guessed. “It was Gwaine, wasn’t it? It was!”

“Who do you care?” It was too late for Merlin to be doing this. Was it possible to be drunk and hung over at once? Because he was.

“Gwaine’s a friend of mine-”

“He’s a friend of mine to!” Merlin replied, Arthur just smirked.

“Right. He’s probably just using you-”

“You’re the expert.”

“-which is stupid, cause he could get way better than you.” Arthur snarked. Merlin knew it wasn’t untrue, but still- there wasn’t really a need for it to be said. Especially not by Arthur, seeing as he (physically) was the right type for Gwaine. “He’s one of the most popular guys in school.”

“I’m not sure if you’re drunk enough for me not to be offended by that.”

“And there’s no reason he puts so much effort in to thinking about you.” Arthur continued. Merlin wondered why he thought Gwaine thought about him. “Or, or trying to be your friend and have you be an ass back to him.” Merlin was never an ass to Gwaine. Only Arthur. “Like, really, I don’t get why he thinks about you all the time, without noticing he’s doing it!” Merlin decided Arthur had a very creepy personal insight to Gwaine.

“Cheers for the vote of confidence, get out of my way now.” Merlin replied, both exasperated and saddened. He shouldered past Arthur, and when the blond latched on to his arm he ripped away from the grip.

He knew Arthur didn’t like him, they were hardly discrete. But he didn’t realize that Arthur hated him, or thought of him as less of a person. Because as much as he couldn’t stand Arthur as a person, it didn’t mean he would be deliberately spiteful to him.

It was stupid, to let himself be hurt. Arthur’s opinion shouldn’t really matter, at all. If the full moon loves you, why worry about the stars? The people Merlin cared about did matter. Arthur wasn’t even a star; he was like a clump of space debris and did not matter.

Merlin was surprised at how it hurt him, actually. Jesus, it wasn’t untrue and it wasn’t something Merlin didn’t know. Gwaine could get someone better looking than him. In a pinch. Blindfolded. 

He wasn’t even with Gwaine! They just got each other off every now and again. It was one of Merlin’s favourite past times and friendships, but nothing more.

Then it struck him, that Arthur obviously had a crush on Gwaine. He’d seemed oddly jealous, and furious at Merlin, and agonised that Gwaine had ‘lowered’ himself, and eager to make Merlin see it as nothing and a onetime deal. 

Jesus, Arthur was such a brat. He could have just said that, and Merlin would have stepped back. After a bit of teasing.


	8. Even being gay, I can tell you the clitoris is not a tumor

Sex education was supposed to be ridiculously awkward and horrendous. Especially as their new PSE teacher wanted to discuss different sexualities and orgasms. It had split the class almost in two. The first group blushed and giggled nervously, whilst the second joked and crowed.

Merlin was not in a group, he was delighted. Because the teacher had set out topics (which would probably get him fired) to discuss, and Arthur was making an idiot of himself.

Currently, he was making an idiot of himself on the topic of female reproduction system, but it varied.

“That’s a tumour.” Arthur guessed. He had volunteered to label parts of the vagina. The teacher nodded, and clucked ‘very good try’ and Merlin wondered who the hell let him near teenagers.

“My Emrys!” The teacher, not a Mr but ‘call me Cedric’ bellowed. “What is so funny about that to you?”

“Mr Pendragon-” Because the teacher was forcing Merlin to use people’s official titles for misbehaving. “is so wrong it would be embarrassing if it weren’t happening to him.”

The class started laughing, some trying to hide it and some being blatant. Merlin doubted they would have been as hopeless at labelling as Arthur was.

 

“What the hell would you know about it?” Arthur snapped, but his blush betrayed his tone. “You don’t even like girls!” A few members of class looked round, but Merlin kind of stopped being embarrassed by Arthur a while ago.

“True. And even being gay I can tell you that you’ve literally labelled the clitoris as a tumour.”

Arthur’s face was like thunder.

“Mr Emrys!” Cedric shrieked. “That is *entirely* inappropriate!”

“How on *earth* was that possibly inappropriate?” Merlin replied. “He was wrong, I corrected him. Now he can learn and grow, and become a better being for it.”

“You have no right to speak to another pupil like that!” Cedric continued. “Certainly not one of Arthur’s… Importance.” Cedric was basically leering. Definitely.

“Why, thank you Cedric.” Arthur preened. He made Merlin think of a turkey or a Chihuahua. The fancy ones who ate better than most of Britain and lived in purses. Merlin wanted to smear that look of his face.

“Not a problem, Arthur.”

“Is he weirdly creepy to you to?” Merlin dropped his head to whisper to Will.

“Which one?”

“The man child teacher who’s licking his lips at Arthur.” Merlin explained. He was surprised to hear Will scoff.

“Oh definitely. But you’re just jealous Prince prat face isn’t lavishing you in attention.” Will smirked.

“Fuck off.” Merlin snapped. He didn’t even bother give the accusation a reaction. It didn’t deserve one. Entirely ridiculous.

“Now!” Cedric smiled. “Mr Emrys, if you know so much about the female form…” Arthur snickered. “Then perhaps you should come up here and tell us what happens.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Well you don’t have a choice. Get up here and explain why females self lubricate.”

That, Merlin thought, may be the least sexy sentence ever uttered in the history of the world. Especially from Cedric’s greasy bearded face. The entire class shuddered, and Merlin had an idea that they would all become abstinent.

***

“It could have been worse.” Freya smiled from behind her hands.

“I would take that a lot more seriously were you not giggling at me.” Merlin growled. He took a vicious bite of sandwich and tried to swallow the memories of the last block. It didn’t help.

“You used the phrase ‘mucus plug.” Will reminded him, howling with laughter.

“I didn’t want to fail the class!”

“I think being expelled would have been a less humiliating choice.” Merlin could recognise Arthur’s smug drawl from anywhere. Without turning round, Merlin could imagine the delighted look on his face with crooked teeth and shimmering eyes. “Would have been far better for everyone else, too.”

Merlin spun round, and he noticed Arthur had six friends with him, and Gwen painted to his arm. Freya had abandoned him in favour of making moony eyes with Leon. Puppy love was just as sickening as it was sweet.

But as Merlin wasn’t it on it this bout of puppy love was just sickening.

“Really Emrys.” Arthur smirked. “You know a hell of a lot about the female system. Some would say a perverse amount.”

If Arthur weren’t so attractive, someone would have scooped out his eyes with a spoon by now. Merlin wasn’t blind, he got that Arthur was somewhat gifted in the facial features and body department. If he wasn’t such a complete prat, Merlin might have spent a lot of timing (mentally) getting to know him.

“Odd, I’d think with you being such a dick you would have known far more.” Merlin spat back.

He was in an exceptionally bad mood, lately. The deadline for the poetry competition was coming up, but that wasn’t all.

Merlin was put a year ahead, and all his friends would be leaving soon. He wanted to leave, too, go somewhere and study. But they couldn’t afford it yet, so Merlin would be staying behind another year to study.

“Arthur’s a very adequate lover!” Gwen chirped. Merlin had to shake himself back to real life. Arthur nodded, proudly.

“Adequate may be the saddest adjective used to describe sex, ever.” Merlin laughed. “And the word lover burnt to ashes in the 1900s. It’s not a phoenix, let it die.”

“I bet you think you’re just so *smart* Merlin. Well you just sound pretentious.” Arthur snapped.

“What the ever loving fuck is your problem?” Merlin hissed. “Genuinely, you keep prancing about an actual answer, and then you back away again.”

Before the problem could actually get solved, the bell went, and he marched off to class without waiting around.

***

Arthur was in the gym long before everyone else left. He was going to fuck himself over, that was definite. The tread mill would knacker his knees normally, and right now he had it set on the steepest slope at the fastest pace.

Hours of churning plastic, and he only made it harder as time went on.

But for weeks, his thoughts had been stilted and muddled. But not now, not when sweat was pouring down his body and his breaths flayed him from the inside.

All too soon, the equipment automatically shut down. He wished he’d stayed at home, but the stifling awkwardness of his home made him feel like a ghost. He’d wanted the noise and bustle of the gym.

It was eleven at night when he started walking home. In winter, where the coldness was rivalled only by the dark. He felt like an idiot, walking home this late at night and alone. If he got murdered people would probably think it was his fault.

But it wasn’t so much the threat of murder that was bothering him right now. There was something so entirely off kilter in him right now, and it felt like it had sprang from the middle of nowhere. But had always been there.

Fuck, he was confused.

He’d gotten with guys before. Not the whole way, but he’d done some stuff. And the way he was suddenly- was it even sudden?- feeling about the big eared twit was nothing like that. It wasn’t a way Arthur had felt about anything. It felt like he was being constantly gnawed.

And Merlin was acting like a fucking roller coaster. Flirty retorts, friendly smiles, mocking glares and angry barbs. Because Arthur wasn’t bloody demented enough, Merlin had to start messing things up even more so.

“Idiot.” Arthur snarled, not sure which one of them he was referring to. But Merlin was a writer, a good one, apparently, and all writers were a bit nuts, weren’t they?

Maybe it was just ‘sexual tension’ or whatever, like Leon always joked about. Merlin wasn’t a bad looking guy, and if Arthur didn’t want to throttle him so much they’d probably be decent friends.

Maybe Arthur just needed to. Maybe he and Merlin should just.

For some reason, the idea of having a quick shag with Merlin made him angry rather than pleased.

Especially after a quick wank over the idea.

***

Arthur felt like a complete creep the next morning.

It had been too long since he’d pranked Merlin. That must be it. Definitely. All that frustration had just gotten pent up and morphed in to something else. That was all.

Totally normal.

As was the fact he had stolen Merlin’s back pack, and had locked himself in the toilets to sift through it.

Homework, textbooks, a weirdly old novel, the hobbit, jotters, homework- Jesus, Merlin was such a nerd- a planner, wait-

A diary.

Arthur opened it. Not a diary. No, it was better than a diary. It was Merlin’s poetry jotter. And not the one of polished drafts which he entered in competitions. From the note Merlin had written on the front, Arthur could tell these poems were never even made to face the light of day.

Arthur held back a squeal of delight, then opened to a random page.

‘Branded in name 

By man never met

Known by a title unknown to yourself

Etched in minds and memories

With Emrys

The false father

Who fled like smoke

Taking with him

Far more than

He ever gave’

The writing was scratchy and filled with ink stains. The whole thing seemed different to the few poems of Merlin’s that Arthur had read before. Not that he’d ever gone in to a lot of detail about them or anything.

But this one seemed more raw. Quicker, less effort and less tweaking.

He turned the page for another.

‘Hands part the pages

Like Moses parted seas

Sings of his pain

As though painted to a cross

Guides his flock as a

Wolf in sheep’s clothing

Speaks God word

And proclaims himself a son

As he thinks of boys

Who sink to their knees

For more than prayer’

“Fuck.” Arthur couldn’t believe how bloody dark the poems were. Insanely so. From Merlin. The idiot whose grin split his face and whose eyes looked unearthly when he laughed.

Jesus, Arthur needed to prank Merlin really badly.

The book felt itchy in his hands.

There was only one thing Arthur could do at this point. It was the only way he would be able to get back to normal. To be able to cope with school and get his scholarship.

To make sure his father didn’t hate him.

Arthur ran of six of the poems, some of the less dark and more embarrassing ones, through a photocopier.

After this, once he’d gotten another point against Merlin, he’d be able to focus.


	9. A storm is brewing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so truly sorry about the long absences! I've been feeling super low and my exams are coming up. So I will do my very best to update whenever possible!
> 
> check out my tumblr if im away for too long to stay in the loop! jeanshard.tumblr.com

Merlin had a habit of over using words. He used massive when he meant big, devastating when he meant sad, starving when he meant peckish. He created novels from drabbles, spun songs from a drifting hum. He constantly exaggerated, until a chill was a blistering cold and his writing became too fanciful to read, his thoughts too extreme to be considered.

But with every fibre of his being now, he was mortified beyond recognition. He was shaking, locked in the bathroom with his bag chucked on the floor, breaths carving him to shreds and his eyes screaming to drop tears.

He hadn’t been able to breathe when he had first seen the scribbled handwriting taped to the walls. He’d torn some down, but realized how many were plastered to the walls and decided to run off and hide, instead. He had no idea how it had happened, no understanding of how his private thoughts had been made so painfully public.

He had no idea who had done this.

He was bent over in the bathroom, wheezing his lungs out and working himself into a panic. Had someone broken into his locker? Gone through his room? He tried to make sure his book was never out of sight. The work wasn’t polished, wasn’t clean or loved. The book was a form of purging, he needed to pour the dark embellishments of his soul out of him. The poems were scratchy, painful thoughts too sharp to wear smooth to be read to an audience.

Merlin allowed himself a short roar, slamming his hands against the tile wall. He had no idea who would do this to him, who hated him enough to do this. He didn’t think he’d done anything vicious enough to deserve this.

For a second, his mind flitted to Arthur, but he dismissed it immediately. Arthur was a lot of things, but he wasn’t evil and he understood privacy. 

Merlin dragged his phone out of his pocket, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. He’d call Gaius, Gaius could come help him.

***

Arthur was sat in class, confused why Merlin was absent.

Surely Merlin hadn’t gone scurrying home, Arthur thought to himself. It was only first block, surely Merlin wouldn’t have just gone…

Dread settled low in Arthur’s stomach like a wave lapping at a bay. 

But there was no way Merlin would be skipping school because of Arthur’s prank. It was just a joke, the two of them had done way worse to each other than this. Merlin was far stronger than that, as much as Arthur hated to admit it.

He excused himself from class, waltzing along the halls to the bathroom.

And he heard a short, sharp set of sobs.

Usually, Arthur would just ignore it. First years often crept in for a quick cry, or someone would lock themselves away for a time to cry. Arthur knew that en shouldn’t cry, and he didn’t want to get involved. He planned to relieve himself, wash his hands and get away.

But then he heard something, and it made him stop. It pulled him back to when he was eight years old, when he’d pushed Merlin down for the hundredth time. And Merlin hadn’t cried for his bloody knees or chipped tooth, but instead because Arthur had shattered a special pen that had been a gift from Merlin’s parents. Before they had died. It was the first time Arthur didn’t keep bullying Merlin, and the only time he’d pulled him off the ground and helped him wash up.

Merlin- it had to be him, Arthur had never been able to forget his crying, must have locked himself away to have a ball. But it didn’t make sense to Arthur, because he hadn’t heard of Merlin crying in years. It had to be something serious.

“Uh, Emrys?” Arthur swore to God his voice hadn’t wavered. He heard Merlin stop, probably holding his breath. Christ, Arthur hadn’t felt this awkward in his entire life. “Mate?” Bloody hell, it wasn’t like they were friends. Merlin was just going to laugh. “Come on, don’t go all emo.”

“Mmph.” He heard Merlin huff. Slowly, Arthur paced over to the stall Merlin locked himself in, and leant against the door. “Go away.” Merlin’s voice was doused in sadness.

“Come on Emrys, get out.”

“What are you doing? Just leave me alone.”

“I’ve got to do my duty as a prefect-”

“Hah!”

“- Shut it. Come on, just come out, give me a grin and toddle off to class. That’s an order.”

“I don’t take orders from you.” Merlin muttered, and Arthur heard him slip along the floor. Arthur eyed the dirty tile of the bathroom and rolled his eyes, there was no way he would sit down on that. 

For a few minutes, the two of them just sat there is silence. Arthur walked backwards, perching on the sink and felt his heart hammer against his ribs. This wasn’t his fault, Merlin probably got ignored by a girl or something. Or boy. It was probably absolutely nothing to do with Arthur. 

Oddly, the quiet was nice. Arthur listened out for the snuffling of Merlin’s breathing and felt himself relax a little bit.

“Why are you still here?” Merlin finally grunted. 

“Because you are, Emrys. Get your act together and get going.” Arthur stood up, walked over to Merlin’s stall and rapped on the door. “Right, just open it up and if you’re all in one piece I’ll get going.”

The door opened, and Merlin walked out without looking at Arthur properly. He cleaned his hands, gave Arthur a quick curl of lips in the mirror and scuttled off.

“Merlin?” In response to Arthur’s voice, Merlin spun round and froze. “Uh, it’ll be fine- yeah?”

Merlin turned round, shaking a bit, and he beamed. It made Arthur’s stomach drop, he’d never seen anything as fucking beautiful as Merlin did, tear stained and pale skinned but still managing a smile.

“Cheers, Arthur.”

***

“Merlin?” Will grunted. “Merlin?” Will groaned, before raising his fist and landing a sharp jab on Merlin’s arm. Merlin looked up, looking at Will like he was made of fairy dust. “Mate, you’re even more out of it that usual.”

Merlin just looked straight back down again, like it even pained him to look up. Will felt his chest tighten, and anger shot through him. When he found the miserable son of a bitch who did this to his best mate he would tear them open.

And no matter what Merlin said, Arthur Pendragon was suspect number one. Will wasn’t going to pester, he didn’t want to make Merlin any more jittery than he already was, but there was no way on earth he could just leave it. Merlin didn’t let anyone see that book, never let a soul touch it- not even Hunith when they were children. Whoever had dared do this was scum, as far as Will saw it. And although he wasn’t gifted at tricks like Merlin was, he could do some real damage.

He would get to the bottom of this, it wasn’t like he had much else going on. Game of thrones wasn’t back for another few weeks and Merlin was the best friend he had.

Now, though, he was sat in the office with a paper bag in his hand in case Merlin had another panic attack. He would wait here until Gaius arrived, then start his mission.

He helped Merlin into his car, and the plan began.

***

“Woah, you alright mate?” A laugh asked as a hand pulled Merlin up from the floor. The mission had not gone well. Will had not been on the hunt long, and he’d already been chased out of two of Arthur’s classes and caught trying to break into the blond’s locker. He had no idea how Merlin did it. Not only was Will now on the brink of expulsion, but he also managed to knock himself over on a random figure. 

“Yeah, cheers.” Will shook his head, trying to stop himself flushing. He looked up and saw Gwaine, and a smile splattered over his face. “Gwaine!”

“Oh, hey mate.” Gwaine smiled, stepping back from Will.

“Name’s Will.” Will smiled.

“I know!” Gwaine squawked, defensive “I didn’t forget.”

“Well, I am rather memorable.” Will smirked. He began to walk along, and Gwaine followed alongside him. “So, what are you doing skipping class?”

“Late lunch.” Gwaine replied, flicking his hair. Will wished Merlin would just set his sights on Gwaine and stick to it. He seemed like an alright guy, actually. A bit of an arse, but that seemed to be Merlin’s type, judging by Arthur. Merlin could play it any way he liked, but the only real reason he hadn’t ever let himself think of Arthur romantically was because Arthur had bullied Will as kids. It was a sweet sentiment, but if Merlin ended up spending his life mooning over Arthur that would be too tragic for words.

Although, it would probably be great motivation for poetry.

“What about you?” Gwaine continued. He was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses inside, and Will did his best not to comment on it. “You strike me as the kind of guy who likes to diligently follow rules.”

“Oh it’s all a ruse, I really smuggle drugs and kill unsuspecting victims during class time.”

“You don’t strike me as the devil may care type of guy.” Gwaine shook his head. The two were walking along, their strides almost perfect together. “Come on, let me in on the heist.”

“Right…” For a few moments, Will was quiet. He was sure Gwaine could be trusted, and he probably could use the help. “So I’m assuming you’ve seen the poems around the school.” Gwaine grunted, clearly angry. “I’m going to figure out who did it, then make them sorry.”

“How are you going to do that?” Gwaine asked, and the two of them stopped to park themselves down on a stool. 

“Well, so far not cleverly.” Will said back. 

“I’m not all that clever myself, Will, but I can always offer a helping hand.”

***

Arthur was surprised to be sat in his father’s office. He hadn’t been involved in any altercations, his grades were still high, his games always well played and he was somehow managing to keep up to his father’s strangling standards.

“Arthur, I’m sure you’re aware why you’re here.” Uther said, gravely. Arthur gulped. “No?”

“No, sir.”

Uther shook his head, as though Arthur was the gravest disappointment life had to offer. Maybe he was.

“You’re the head prefect of this school, Arthur. I expect you to commit to your role entirely.”

“I, I do try to fully commit, sir.” A lie. One that Arthur wanted to be true, but a lie all the same.

“Hmm. Any matter, a certain issue has been brought to my attention by a large number of staff members. A student, Mr Emrys, has had is privacy invaded, and some of his… work has been plastered over the school.” Uther was referring to Merlin’s ‘work’ like it was skinning cats. “This is a serious issue, Arthur. The teachers are rather protective of Mr Emrys, and my position isn’t particularly strong at the moment.”

“Uh, sir?”

“I’m only going to say this once, Arthur. I want you to give me the right answer.”

“Yes, sir.” Arthur was positive his voice had wavered now.

“I’m well aware of the little game you’ve been playing with Mr Emrys. If you are the one who stole his work and made it public, the consequences will be dire. You are aware of how much you have at stake, of course. So tell me Arthur, are you the one did this?”

“No sir.” Arthur was terrified he had spoken too quickly, or slowly, that he’d stammered or spoken too clearly- that he’d done anything suspicious at all. His father would flay him, he already felt guilt enough to drown him from Merlin without being torn to shreds by his shark father. 

Uther nodded.

“Good. But that means we need to find the real culprit behind this. Bullying has severely increased in the last few years and we need to stop it in its tracks now.”

“Father?”

“Once we find the person that did this, Arthur, they will be made an example of and expelled. I expect you to get to work tomorrow.” Uther went down to his work and glared at Arthur over the tips of his glasses. “Do not let me down.”

***

Merlin woke up at four in the morning. He went to his window, listened to the quiet songs of birds and leaves and felt his mind untangle. Late nights were always his favourite, when nature woke and people didn’t. When he was a lonely soul at piece in a lonely night.

He checked his phone, before he started waxing poetry about the tenderness of clouds.

He gave a small smile at the texts he’d gotten, one from Freya, two from Gwaine and the most annoying bout of drabbles from Will only a best friend could provide. Lonely soul Merlin may not be, but there was something about the night that made him love his solitude.

As morning bled through the cloud cover, a day tinged orange and gold, Merlin heard a soft rumble of something more. Despite his best hopes, Merlin got the idea a storm was brewing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank all you lovely supporters for reading and commenting and kudosing, it means the world


	10. Science will convince you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg where have i been im the worst
> 
> i have a caboodly of half finished drafts on my hard drive, but i cba writing anything im awful its so bad im sorry friends
> 
> but i really am feeling this fic right now so hopefully i'll update soon??
> 
> apologies for the low quality i just wanted to start writing again

“-so Arthur will be assisting you from class to class, making sure nobody has any opportunity to… ah, take advantage of you.” Miss Realth stuttered, before picking her stuff up and running from the office. Merlin assumed that she didn’t want to be there for the fall out, wisely.

“No. No. No!” Merlin spluttered, babbling over and over. “No way!”

“I’m not happy about this either, Emrys.” Arthur spat back, irritated. Merlin should be over the goddamn moon that Merlin was going to be getting the joy of his company. Heaps of people wanted Arthur’s company. And they should want Arthur’s company. Arthur was a delight.

“Oh please.” Merlin hissed. “You’re probably delighted. I bet this is the highlight of your week.”

“Not even if I’d been set on fire Monday, beaten on Tuesday, robbed on Wednesday, strangled on Thursday-”

“Kinky.” Merlin grinned. 

“Shut your face before I report you to guidance.” Arthur puffed, hands tapping the desk.

“Shut your face?” Merlin spun round, looking Arthur in the eye. “That’s a new one. Congratulations on the vocabulary expansion. I mean it’s still a little bit tragic but you’re almost at the level of the average eleven year old now.”

“Merlin?”

“Yes Arthur?”

“Shut your *face.*”

“This is such a stupid strategy!” Merlin continued. “For God’s sake, you’re the main person that would take advantage of me.”

“Gross.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Who said I was even thinking of that?” Arthur snapped back, feeling his face go hot and praying he didn’t look as red as Merlin did. Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but then he shook his head and let out a groan of disgust, before grabbing his bag and stomping out of the office. “Hey, wait up!”

Arthur lurched after Merlin, and went to push him to the wall to keep him still. However, Merlin let out a yelp and pushed his hands up to cover his face.

Arthur stepped back, immediately, surprised by the reaction. That hadn’t happened before. He’d grabbed and shoved at Merlin for absolutely years and nothing like that had happened. Merlin had never yelped and flinched away.

They stood, frozen for a few seconds, and then the bell rang. Before Arthur had a chance to make Merlin slow down, to ask what happened, to make sure he didn’t get lost, Merlin fled off into the abyss of pupils.

Arthur groaned, knowing his new security detail was going to kill him.

***

Merlin wasn’t going to let it get to him. None of it mattered. None of it was *important.* He didn’t even really care about school, anyway. It wasn’t a big deal if people were staring at him or talking about him or laughing or-

 

It was definitely a big deal.

But Merlin just had to make it stop being a big deal. That was the brilliant advice he’d received from his mother that morning. ‘It’ll all blow over, darling’ she promised.

And that might be true. But when a hurricane blew over a town wasn’t the better for it.

“Watch it.” Someone snapped, knocking Merlin’s books onto the floor before storming off. Merlin almost laughed, the bullying was light and cliché. It still hurt. But only because Merlin thought he had gotten past this now, that people wouldn’t bully him after all these years.

Arthur never left him feeling like this.

Merlin shook his head, because he knew he was in a bad situation if he was pining for Arthur.

“Hey Merlin!” Merlin felt a heavy thud on his back, and for a second he was terrified. Then Will’s face loomed in front of him, large grin splitting his lips and Merlin felt relieved.

“Hey.” He replied, feeling Will fall in to step beside him. Merlin felt his body go a little more lax, muscles losing the crippling rigidity they had clasped only seconds ago. He felt impossibly relieved to have Will here beside him. Not that Will could properly defend him if any bullies again, but he could provide Merlin with a decent distraction.

“Where’s your guard dog, then?”

“Fuck off Will.” It had taken Merlin all day to get rid of Arthur. For some reason, Arthur was taking his new role of protector very seriously. Arthur probably loved it, now he had complete access to Merlin’s entire school life to make it miserable. This was probably something Arthur had been looking forward to for ages, the chance to get complete revenge on Merlin.

Only, he hadn’t done anything yet. He’d been annoying, yes, he didn’t leave Merlin alone and he teased him constantly and sat beside him in every class, but Arthur hadn’t been horrible. Merlin had been snappy and waspish for the whole week, wondering when Arthur would finally snap, but Arthur seemed completely fine. Content, even.

“Seriously, isn’t the tracker trip in your brain going to go off?”

“Will.”

“Honestly, mate, it’s weird seeing you without your shadow.” 

“You never even see him with me!” Merlin snapped. Arthur only went around with Merlin when he had a free class. When Will had free classes, he went home for Netflix or fell asleep in the library. 

“I can smell him.”

“Shut up!” Merlin hoped he wasn’t blushing. Obviously he didn’t *smell* like Arthur. The idea that he would actually smell like-

“I can feel his presence. It’s like a ghost haunting or something.” Will was smirking now though, and he elbowed Merlin to let him know the subject was going to get dropped soon. “Anyway, we still on for Friday?”

“We’re always on for every Friday ever.” Merlin, Will and Freya’s Fridays were basically a holy day for their friendship. They’d been doing them for absolutely years, and Merlin had no idea why Will was double checking. He was worried that Will was going to treat him differently, that his friends would walk on egg shells around him in case they upset him. Merlin wanted to ignore everything and move on.

“Just wanted to check Arthur was willing to let you out for the night. What’s his over time charge, anyway?” Merlin almost laughed, grateful for the teasing. 

“You’re a horrible friend.”

***

Watching Merlin and Arthur ‘debate’ had become one of the highlights of Gwen’s day.

“Well, poets are just so entirely self-centred.” Arthur argued, puffing his chest up. The entire English class had gone quiet, all entranced watching the two boys squabble. The teacher looked outraged with each of Arthur’s comments, and she nodded her head passionately at Merlin’s. It was very obvious who would be marked with the better debate.

“So?” Merlin asked.

“So!” Arthur was spluttering. “They have no right to be; oh I can make some pretty sentences, bow before me!”

“As opposed to footballers, who kick a ball up and down a field and make more than a soldier.” Merlin reasoned. He was right, actually, and Gwen held a smile behind her hand.

“Football is a lot of effort!” Arthur snapped back. He was trying for a sports scholarship; football meant an awful lot to him.

“So is writing!”

“Anyone can write!” Arthur yelled back. “Football means you need to be in top physical form, it only takes certain people in.”

“So it’s elitist. Writing gives everyone a chance.” Merlin snipped back.

This morning, the teacher had told each person to argue for a hobby or job they liked. Gwen wasn’t sure how this had turned in to Merlin and Arthur’s smack down, but she wasn’t complaining. Her dream goal was to be a homemaker, and she wasn’t excited to try and defend that role to the class. But there was nothing wrong with it, she wanted a family and children and she’d have hobbies on the side. Everyone already thought her a ditz.

“What does writing do for anyone?” Arthur retorted. Even Gwen could poke the holes in that argument in a few seconds. She knew that writing and language were two of the most important things in the world. She knew that all communication was language, math was language, recipes were language, text messages and films and music. She wasn’t the bimbo people thought she was.

“Are you joking?” Merlin spluttered. Even Arthur seemed to think his comment was stupid, upon reflection.

“I mean most writing, what has your stuff done?” Arthur mocked. Gwen didn’t think that was fair, really, because Merlin was very proud of his writing and he was good at it. At least, he was when they were friends. She’d been trying to follow up on what he was doing, he ran a blog where he posted some of his stuff and she went on there every few weeks. Merlin’s stuff was good, and she knew she would still like it even if she didn’t know him.

“Arthur, you don’t get to dismiss the value of anything until you’ve actually tried it. Writing doesn’t have to start a war, or a religion or inspire something else, the fact it exists gives it value. Even more than that, it’s a basic way to convey informati-”

“I don’t mean like ‘Stop’ signs or anti-drug leaflets. I mean the nambi pambi stuff you lot do.”

“Arthur!” Miss Leath yelped, jumping out of her seat like she’d been electrocuted. She looked over at Merlin and bit her lip, probably worried that he’d break down and leave the class in a flood of tears. Most of the teachers were speaking t Merlin like he was made of glass. But in a challenge against Arthur, Merlin didn’t need any help at all.

Gwen wondered how nobody else saw it. Lance thought she was crazy, and Merlin and Arthur were so deep denial they’d need an Egyptologist. The two drove each other crazy, worked each other up until they were the only thing on one another’s mind. Merlin came *alive* when he was arguing with Arthur, he was never as amped up and passionate as he was when he managed to win an exchange.

Gwen had noticed them over the past few weeks. Arthur had been following Merlin around during his free classes, keeping anyone from getting vicious with Merlin. Gwen saw that underneath all the fake irritation, Arthur genuinely wanted to protect Merlin. It was sweet of him, actually. Gwen wasn’t used to seeing that side of Arthur.

But she seemed to be the only one who noticed it. At their lunch table, Arthur’s friends listened to him moan about Merlin and gave him sympathy. They clung to his every word and coo’ed over the pain he was going through, telling him to ignore Merlin and agreeing that it was a horrible way for Arthur to live his life.

But Arthur got antsy at lunch time, his eyes would search round the canteen and they’d only settle if he managed to spot Merlin and see him safe. He did that before the incident, too, every few weeks he’d search Merlin out and smile.

But that usually meant he’d pulled some kind of prank on Merlin, and he was waiting for something to explode or scream or turn pink.

This was different.

***

“Any developments on operation poetry leak?”

“That’s a shit name.” Will said back, spitting out small chunks of food from his full mouth. “What’s the point in having a special spy name if it’s easy to tell what we’re talking about?”

“Well you come up with one then, smart arse.” Gwaine grinned, plonking himself down beside Will. “I can hardly do all the work myself.”

“And what work have you done?” Will swallowed the sandwich pieces that were gluing his mouth together. Gwaine’s table manners were just as atrocious as Will’s were, but it was better to say it than spray it.

“Alright, don’t get too excited or anything.” Gwaine flipped his hair, a habit that must have left him with a sore neck, and lent forward. “So, I took one of the photocopies, and it’s printed on school paper.” 

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Meaning it had to be printed in school, yeah? Or by someone who had access to the stationary cupboards.” Access to supplies in the school was extremely limited. You had to have a specific access level, a special code and technical training. You couldn’t even print off an essay without a teacher’s log in details and approval. “Someone with MI5 level access.”

“Oh right! Nice one, mate.” Will gave Gwaine a firm pat on the back. Will’s own investigation had gone absolutely nowhere. “So, narrows down suspects then.”

“Yeah. Any teachers who particularly hate Merlin?”

“Any teacher who isn’t an English teacher. But, I doubt it was a teacher. Prefects, tech crews and approved pupils get access too.” Will shrugged. “Doesn’t make any sense for it to have been a teacher, does it?”

“Well, a pupil would still need a teacher’s approval to print anything. And a signature. Just makes more sense.” Gwaine groaned, frowning as he looked down at the table. “If it was a teacher, we could be on to a major conspiracy here.”

Will could feel his own ears prick up and felt the twinkle start in his eye.

“Don’t even get me started on conspiracy theories! They’re my favourite topic.” Gwaine gave him an odd look, and for some reason Will decided he should continue. “Like, lizard people ruling the world. The Nazis have space crafts on the moon. The moon landing wasn’t real-”

Gwaine started laughing then.

“Oh you laugh now! But let me tell you, it doesn’t add up. When you look at the shadows-”

“I can see why you and Merlin get along so well.” Gwaine laughed. He nodded his head then, mouth turning up in a small smile. “Go on then. Convince me.”

“Science will convince you. I’m just here to facilitate it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eep sorry its not fab but hey ho
> 
> please leave any kudos or comments, means the world!


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